Most of us who use computers receive hundreds of unsolicited emails every day, some promising instant wealth and fortune in exchange for our banking details; others guarantee us heavenly pleasures on earth for a handful of dollars. But every so often along comes a real gem, as was the case last week when a good friend – and for the record, a Republican – had the good sense to forward a short video clip made by a friend of his. The video is titled "How to be a real terrorist!" And of course it grabbed my attention. The clip shows a middle-aged American talking straight into the camera with something of a very soft southern drawl. Here's what he says:

If he was a terrorist and wanted to destroy the American way of life, he wouldn't use planes and bombs. It's too risky as you might get killed or arrested. Real terrorists get results and then lay the blame on others so they can't be found.

So instead of blowing up buildings, a real terrorist would foreclose on millions of homes, putting people in the streets. A real terrorist would devalue the dollar so the price of everything would increase. A real terrorist would outsource jobs so that Americans can't find work. A real terrorist would move factories to foreign countries.

Seeing how terrorists find their recruits among the uneducated for the most part, a real terrorist would make educational unaffordable. A real terrorist would make healthcare difficult to get and allow the insurance companies to get away with murder. A real terrorist would listen to the people's telephone calls, monitor their e-mails and use that information against them.

But you know what, declares the man in the video: "We live in the United States of America, thank you Jesus." And the people who represent Americans would never, ever let the terrorists get away with it, would they! Would they?